How about we put a stop to the slander of both sex in Arewa community.You will probably understand best the reason behind this write up if you are active on social media. It is unfortunate that we fight over trivial things when we should be supporting and uplifting one another. Rather we fight on basically the simplest of things and ideas, which to me is uncalled for. Most of these arguments can be settled through a consensus instead of throwing a particular sex under the bus, just because they don’t believe in your norms. It is true that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion but sometimes a caveat is placed on unethical ones and it should be discarded accordingly before it brings division and confusion. I find it hard to fathom how a certain group of Arewa young men are telling the ladies on how to be a woman or act as one, with no disrespect to the rest of arewa men but it is ridiculous to be that authoritative on a woman who surely knows her worth, how about you practice first what you preach by being a better man who doesn’t set limits for an Arewa woman.
I can’t believe that in the 21st century we are still backwards instead of looking for the way forward, we aid in holding our progression by the way some of us tend to think and our sense of reasoning atimes is questionable. Questionable because recently someone made a reference with how most Arewa men think, and the funny thing about it is that about 45% vividly agree with this ideology that a woman can intimidate a man by the kind of car she drives, which would automatically drive away suitors. If in this day and time a single woman is judged based on the type of car she drives then I don’t know how we can move away from the stone-age era, am still trying to understand the correlation between liking someone and not approaching the person because of the type of car the person drives, might be true that some men who have ended up with women of high social status have sad tales to tell but not all of them do, some have a happily ever after story, besides if you can’t handle something it’s best advised you free it and possibly stick with your class.
Having had a first hand experience of struggles Arewa women face hence my perspective on the issue. Another argument caught my attention recently, about the right age for a woman to get married and how marrying a divorcee is doing her a favor. First of all there is nothing like the right age to get married. You marry when you are physically, mentally and emotionally ready to start a new beginning, women should be allowed to make decisions about their lives and not what the society deems fit is right for them. Marriage is not an easy stage in life, am not trying to start a battle of superiority but to state my opinion that if the men are not pressured as regards marrying early then the women shouldn’t be. Arewa women should never feel the pressure of fulfilling cultural norms before putting their happiness first. Regarding the divorcee, divorce is part of relationship, sometimes things don’t really work out the way we picture them to be and it is okay to do whatever makes you happy. Divorce is not a stigma and a divorcee should not be treated any different from any other person. A quite number of people tend to look down on divorcees most especially if you are a woman, some people feel entitled that by marrying you for the second time they are doing you a favor, this perception should be changed and abolished. We should also stop the name calling and shamming, a young man literally said any girl that doesn’t get married in her prime will turn out to be an ‘old cargo’ in her father’s house, I find it quiet offensive that not getting married early has resulted into name calling and is still a particular sex that is thrown under the bus once again, why don’t we call men that are over 40 same, am not here to compare and contrast am just of the opinion that a woman should never be pressured by the force of the society.
Rather than the battle of the sexes we engage on in social media there are important issues that deserves our attention, such as ensuring the ratio of the girl child who have access to education is raised. let’s try and make a change in the way we think and look for better solutions in tackling issues at hand, we are better united than divided on Importance of a woman in the society, one should never be made to look insecure because of the type of car he or she drives, also a woman should never be made to look insecure because of her age, true love knows no age, a woman should never be made to bow down to pressure, to my Arewa men if you want something go for it, it doesn’t matter if she owns a jet, you might be surprised at how welcoming some women are, never be afraid of rejection, it is a part and parcel of life, when you fall flat on your face, you stand back up and look at the positive aspect of life, tomorrow will be better than today, that is the zeal and attitude that we aim to have.
In conclusion I hope we try as much as possible to move on from slandering one another and stop future reoccurrence, instead we should join hands and welcome ideas from both sex that will be used to bring peaceful coexistence between us. I hope my message will get to everyone reading it with open mind and be received accordingly, I am in no way insulting anyone but voicing what I feel is right, this is the plea of a northern Arewa woman.